I look through the photo albums with my oldest of when she was a baby, showing her what
she looked like tiny. With all family and friends that were around in the pictures, she loves the thought that she used to
be that small. My youngest pops up beside us on the couch and the three of us continue to look through both baby books. With a pang in my heart, I would never want to go back to those days. Days that were filled with domestic duties set in
isolation. There was no one to rescue me so I could nap while my husband was at work. There was no mom to come bring me lunch,
nor a grandmother to spoil my daughter. If I had a chance to offer ideas to people wondering what to get a motherless
mom it would be the following: Time, Meals or Coffee. When you pop by (always make sure she is expecting you, never surprise
her.), a meal that she can pop in the oven for dinner is a huge relief and time-saver so she can rest or play with the newborn.
Also, offering to watch the baby so she can nap or shower is very kind. A take-out coffee is very popular and can be such
a treat for a mom who may not have left the house for the day. Housekeeping. If budget permits, send a housekeeper even
just once would be a treat. Or, without asking, wash some dishes or bottles. It takes ten minutes of your time without a baby
in your arms to accomplish most domestic tasks. I know from personal experience that one task with baby in tow can take hours
some days. Books. There are great books from Hope Edleman on being a Motherless Daughter and Mother. I wish I knew of
them in the early days with my oldest. Granted there is not much time to read, however the books can be flipped around to
read testimonials from fellow motherless moms. Play dates. If there is a second (or more) newborn in the house, a play
date for the older kid is a wonderful gift. The exhausting weeks spent with a newborn and an older child can add to an exhausted
mom's day. Taking the older child out to the park or play in the play room is a win-win for all. Reflecting on these
points that I had wished for, my kids scamper off and race each other around the living room. I watch with a smile. After
surviving new motherhood and a second baby, I do love the present time with them. They turned out okay- I think. I guess you
can say, so did I.
After
the birth of her second daughter, Danielle picked up a pen to write the stories as a mom as she lived them. Danielle joined
an online class through www.themomoirproject.com where she learned how to craft the stories. With her creative sanity rolling, Danielle has made a writing home
at www.themomoirproject.com, www.yummymummyclub.ca, www.womenspost.ca and now www.wondermoms.ca. She has guest blogged on many other parenting websites.
