WonderDads is a new addition to the WonderMoms website, we found there
was a need to reach out to our Men, Dads, Uncles, of our Moms. We will have monthly articles that will be submitted by WonderDad
himself or guest Dads.
The Importance Of Balancing The Dad And Career Aspects In Your Life
WonderMoms has always tried to instill in me the importance of balancing
what I try to accomplish in my professional life and what my responsibilities are at home in regards to the raising of our
4 children. I realize that being a WAHM allows her to run a very successful business while also being the primary caregiver
in our relationship.
My job keeps me away from home
for long hours at a time, and at odd shifts. Ideally, I would like to be there at all times, but this is not financially
feasible. I know that I am not alone in this and that is why I have chosen to write about it today.
Firstly, I would like to commend WonderMoms on her abilities at getting things done at
a pace and efficiency most could only dream of. She has an innate organizational skill set that I have never seen before.
I would be president of the company already if I could harness even a portion of it.
The importance of balance can be mean different things to different people. To me, it
means being there when you say you are going to be there. This also means to be there, not only in the physical sense, but
emotionally present as well. How often are we as dads at home but still thinking of the office and that "big" project
we were saddled with? With unrealistic deadlines involved, the stresses can add up quickly. That should not take away from
the importance of your being there for your wife and kids.
The
kids tend not to understand the occupational stresses as is evident when my DD8 says to me, "daddy, just use that plastic
card to give you money and then you don't need to go to work anymore." Comical yes, but not reality.
The other day, on Fathers Day no less, I was stuck at work completing a
task as requested, on time and on budget. I arrived home to find DD8 in my bed with WonderMoms, asleep. Mommy woke up to
inform me that my little one was emotionally shot. Daddy was late again and caused some heartache. It seems that they miss
me more and more as they grow older. Knowing that this is happening day in and day out, I must now engage myself wholeheartedly
in finding alternative ways to spend "quality" time with my 4 girls, let me rephrase that, 5 girls, when I include
my beautiful wife of 15 years. I can no longer use the office as an excuse, I am either in it, or not.
My family has always been the most important aspect of my life. That is
the reason we had kids. Both WonderMoms and myself come from very loving, devoted families. Our fathers were the breadwinners
of the family, while the moms stayed home and raised the children. I don't resent my father for not being around a lot, he
was always emotionally available to my sister and I when he was home. Many wonderful family memories remain to this date.
Camping trips on weekends, trips to Florida (Disney World). My best memories were of my father coming home and the two of
us going to the golf course, even if only for the driving range. I digress.
I am going to compile a list of the small stuff in life that can be done to appropriately make me available
to my family. Be it simply camping in the backyard overnight with the girls or going to the park after dinner. I believe
it is the small subtle changes that will work to make things better for not only my relationship with my kids, but ease WonderMoms
workload so she can have a day off too. The struggle for me will be keeping these promises, but I will make every attempt,
as they are way to important to me.
We often forget about
mommies, they are always ON! There is never an emotional disconnect for them. Mommy, can I, mommy, will you, mommy, why
cant i? It seems so simple when you are not there.
A
close family friend, went through the same issues several years ago, with very different results. He was spending very long
hours at the office, trying to get a new business off the ground. As a result, it cost him his marriage. She had fallen
out of love with him, as he was not there anymore. I know that this was not his intention at all. The price that we potentially
pay, is it really worth the effort of getting that promotion? I think not.
I would relish any comments or suggestions that may be worth trying. I can't be the only one who suffering
in silence over this important issue.
